Jim Halberd

A scheming eladrin who recently converted to a disciple of Balinor.


Jim Halberd was born to the Emperor Xanthum Gum and his Empress Fla’Vrr Crystul of the JuCeeFru Galaxy in the year 1984 A.D. Heir to the throne, Jim, then known as Korbatt Xanthum Gum, quickly excelled in his childhood training in lazersword combat, lazer bow and arrow, lazer gunning, and lazer hand-to-hand combat. At the ripe age of 103 (the end of adolescence for the Chkk’LtT race), Korbatt led his people in the galactic war against the Beedle Bonk invaders. The amount of bloodshed Korbatt spilled in the battles could be measured in silos. And was, as is Chkk’LtT custom to save the blood of enemies in order to repurpose it as Energy Pylons.

Korbatt’s days in his home galaxy were mostly spent killing, assissinating, spying, thieving, and waiting for his father to die so he may take the throne. When Korbatt was at the age of 1001.5 (4 human years is equal to 350 JuCeeFru years), his father quickly grew ill with Space Pnemonia. Seeing as there is no cure for Space Pnemonia, since the first symptom is the infected’s bones turning to acid, Korbatt only needed to complete one mission to gain the right to the throne before his father melted away completely.

Korbatt was sent on a reconassaince mission to Earth, the next planet to be shewed by the Empire. The Chkk’LtT people desired the planet’s trees. Korbatt landed on the planet and quickly assumed the identity of Tom Hanks. Why Tom Hanks? The actor, at the height of his popularity at the time (which is all the time because he is objectively the best actor in Earth existence), just happened to be vacationing on the carribean island Korbatt landed on. Korbatt gave Hanks a swift lazer punch to the throat, killing the beloved actor. Using a lazer transmogrifier, Korbatt genetically copied Hanks in all aspects, save for one mutation: pointed ears. Korbatt grew accustomed to Earth ways in his time as Tom Hanks while secretly sizing up Earth’s defenses, weak points, and botany.

A freak accident occured one day on the set of “You’ve Got Mail!” A cybernetic digital lightning rift ripped through the space/time continuum sucked Korbatt and Meg Ryan off set and into a different dimension, the world of our heroes’ campaign. Landing in a barren field, Korbatt whacked his head on a rock, forgetting all personal information. He was picked up by a travelling pot salesman and laid to rest. Upon awaking, the salesman asked Korbatt who he was and where his home was. Korbatt could not remember a thing but did not want to make a fool of himself so he had to think of a name on the fly, “SSSKKKTTHTRUGHGHGHGLURRRTGHGGHHG Jr.” he guttered from his throat. Korbatt’s brain was still severly injured. The salesmen looked in confusion, “Um, how about we call you Jim Halberd, named after my father.” The newly named Jim, in a fit of fright, ran away in the night to the nearest town. There, once fully recovered yet still unable to know who he was, he created a story for himself and began a new life as an adventurer.

Meg Ryan landed in a pond and drowned to death.

Jim Halberd

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